Some of you may notice that I always wear the same necklace in pretty much every single video that I do, and I want to share this story with you:
When I was about ten years old, my grandparents went to Hawaii, and they said, “What do you want us to bring you back?” I said, “Bring me back a pearl!”
So, I remember they brought me back, probably from some tourist shop, a tin can with an oyster inside. They brought it home, and I opened up the oyster – and I found this beautiful, kind of pale pink, slightly misshapen pearl inside of it.
My mom said, “Sarah, let’s put it in some silk and wrap it up, and maybe you can ask Santa Claus this year for a little necklace to put it in.”
So, I wrapped it up and put it in my jewelry box, and that year I asked Santa Claus. …And… I didn’t get it. Then I asked again pretty much every year.
Later, I took it to college with me, and I thought, “Oh, maybe I’ll get like a little necklace for my pearl,”
I even asked my husband at the time for a necklace to put my pearl in!
Finally I turned 30 years old. — Twenty years later! I was recently divorced. I was restarting life all over again, dealing with tremendous pain, shame, and a lot of regret about the way that my life had turned out.
I was moving into my new apartment in Manhattan. I opened up my jewelry box, and I found the little silk pouch with the pearl inside. I then thought, “You know what? I’m gonna get myself a necklace!”
I went right online and found this little pearl cage. It was like $12 bucks for sterling silver! I mean, come on! But, it was so empowering to buy the cage for myself and to put the little pearl inside of it and finally complete that story – and look back at that 20 years of growth and challenge and pain and beauty. I knew that I was honoring myself and my inner child by completing this story and continuing to wear it every day.
So, when you see me, Sarah Hodges, doing one of my videos, just know that I am constantly carrying around a reminder of my inner child, of my most authentic self, as inspiration for me to tell you my true story – to be really real and vulnerable with you.
And I encourage you that if there’s anything that you can do for yourself today to get in touch with your inner child, with your most authentic, vulnerable self – that kind of unedited, raw part of you, do it.
There is nothing more healing.
Do you have a #BeautifulShame Story that you want to share? Send an email to email@example.com that outlines: 1). Your struggle 2). How you’ve used creativity as an outlet to deal with it 3). How you feel now. — Feel free to include photos, videos, music, poetry, or anything else!